Join Pam Blair, Sandra Miller, and Joanne Bazarian on Friday, 4/28, as they chat with fellow WomanUP!® Retreat attendee, Danielle Lazier, Team Leader and Founder of Vivre Real Estate. She is one of the first real estate bloggers and has some excellent advice to share about standing up for your convictions and what she calls “tactical empathy”!
We are continuing our WaveMaker Takeover as we introduce you to some of the women you will meet, greet, and connect with at the 2023 WomanUP!® Retreat.
Listen in as they share their stories, wisdom, and advice for the weeks leading up to the event in Oceanside
Welcome to the show! Please introduce yourself..
Q1: Danielle, I am excited to introduce you to the community. Let’s start at the beginning… We would love to hear about your leadership journey. Please introduce yourself and share the key steps on your path that led you to become the version of you here with us today!
Q2: What was the first business you started/owned?
Unknown to me at the time, I started either the first, or one of the first, real estate blogs, in 2002 at the age of 23, called “SFhotlist”. At the time, the term “blog” had not yet entered the lexicon. There was no Curbed, SocketSite, Zillow, etc. SFhotlist.com was a one page HTML website with a graphic image of a blond girl standing in front of a real estate sign (my first client had drawn it for me and my colleague’s husband did the HTML page). What I did was go around to other agent’s listings and then go and write about them. I wrote about the lifestyle surrounding the property, more than than the property itself. Just a few sentences. No photos. And a disclaimer that I was not the listing agent and that the information was from the MLS. Then, I posted the sentences on Craigslist. Lo and behold, I attracted clients, mostly young tech professionals, and built my business post by post. Since then, online content creation has remained a key part of my business.
Q3: What is the life or leadership advice you give most often?
Standing up for my convictions has always been natural to me. Sometimes, my ability to say outloud what others are afraid to say has gotten me into trouble. And sometimes, I had to learn that not everything needs to be said… As one influential teacher said to me in high school, “Choose your battles wisely.” This is a lifelong process for me!
However, being transparent and direct has served me well overall in my career and life. My best advice to others is to be bold yet friendly - to be brave enough to state the truth yet smart enough to do it in a thoughtful, respectful manner. My ability to be bold yet friendly has increased tenfold over the last 4-5 years as I’ve become an avid student of Chris Voss’ style of “tactical empathy,” studying with him directly and through my real estate coach, Steve Shull.
In fact, I now coach other top performing agents on how to increase their influence to create more space and freedom in their day to day lives without sacrificing business. More on that later. :)
Q4: When we asked you about your favorite topic - you said TACTICAL EMPATHY! Let’s talk about that… what is it?
Tactical empathy, as named by Chris Voss, the former FBI negotiator and author of NSTD, is a way of communicating that increases your influence with others by taking the time to understand where they are coming from and make sure they feel understood by you. It’s demonstrating that you understand where someone is coming from and how they feel, regardless of whether you agree with them or not. It’s one thing to understand someone (or think you do!). It is quite another to have them feel understood. Think of it as strategically employed emotional intelligence.
Tactical empathy increases your influence with others and allows you to gently guide them in their decision making. It is not a guarantee of results but it is your best chance of success. It is a way of confronting any issue or uncomfortable situation with tact and grace. It is also a way of finding out the truth very quickly. In real estate sales, I am here to serve others to achieve their goals, but I am not here to be a doormat or provide free consulting. Tactical empathy empowered me to get to the heart of the matter from the initial phone call to the closing table. It’s been a massive game changer for me, leading to much more time and emotional freedom in what we know can be a deeply personal and stressful business.
I love to talk about Tactical Empathy! Aside from being a full time Realtor and Team Leader, I am building a business as a real estate coach, specializing in communication and tactical empathy. Right now, I am coaching over 30 top performing agents to improve their communication and mindset (and charge a full fee but that’s for another time!). My passion is how to make the same (or more) money, in way less time and with way less stress. There is freedom in being able to address any situation head-on. And it builds deeper relationships with clients too. Working with other Realtors to help empower them to see the same benefits has become my passion and purpose. Here is more information: https://daniellelazier.com/smallgroup/ or https://www.performancecoaching.com/roleplay
Q5: Danielle, tell us about a woman in your life who helped you reach a goal or encouraged you to step into your personal power!
Ildiko Pali, my first real estate boss and mentor, played a pivotal role in showing me what it was like to be a strong woman in real estate and absolutely encouraged me to step into my personal power. When others were zigging, she was zagging. She willingly shared her knowledge and experience with me. She patiently explained complex concepts, answered my questions, and provided valuable insights that helped me navigate the intricacies of the real estate market and how to build a referral-based career. Her mentorship helped me build a solid foundation in the industry and boosted my confidence to take on new challenges. She encouraged me to embrace my individuality, be assertive, and stand up for myself. Her support and mentorship inspired me to step into my personal power and assertively pursue my dreams. I am deeply grateful for her mentorship and the role she played in the beginning of my career.
Q6: What are you most looking forward to at the retreat?
1: Danielle
Spending time connecting with other strong women in real estate. We are the powerhouses of this business and I love the camaraderie of powerful, independent women. Oh and time pool or beachside and the wine tasting also sounds fun!
2: Joanne
Connecting, learning, empowering, being empowered by amazing women. Pam’s yoga classes. The new format of a retreat.
3: Sandra
I am really looking forward to this “retreat” it will give us all time to connect on a deeper level
Connect with our guests on LinkedIn:
Connect with Danielle: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daniellelazier
Connect with Pam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pam-blair-484ba09
Connect with Joanne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanne-bazarian-49a1501
Connect with Sandra: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sandra-miller-9572815
